So, how is the loving each other going?
Covid and politics have made that really hard! People we thought we knew, trusted and loved, acting in ways we just can’t wrap our heads around.
Folks who are even angry at each other.
Years ago, I took training in conflict resolution. And, they talked about levels of conflict.
Levels 1&2 were considered creative conflict, where people with different ideas and agendas and even passions talk about all their many solutions, and out of it often comes a great new plan that takes parts of everyone’s ideas and incorporates them.
Then everyone buys in and gets to work.
The unity of the whole is more important that the many individual pieces. The bigger mission of the team or the company or the family take precedence. Nobody is crowing that they are more important and so should be treated special.
Some of the most effective organizations show off this creative ability often. By being able to get good ideas from many sources, they shine, they keep the best talent, and they succeed in remarkable ways.
But there are also level 3&4 conflicts.
That’s like the football team where the big name running back complains publicly that they aren’t being given the ball, or the wide receiver complains publicly they are getting thrown the ball.
The conflict is no longer a matter of creative discussion in the team meetings that will result in consensus and buy in, but has now spilled out into the public arena.
And people start choosing sides both inside the organization and outside. And insidiously, some folks take to doing everything they can to widen the cracks that are now showing to the world.
Level 5 conflict is death. It is when everyone involved has chosen a side and now will not talk to each other, will not come to the table, are not interested in compromise. Where the only future is separation. Think Hatfields and McCoys!
But there is another way! The way of Christ, following Jesus.
John describes it here in 1 John 4. And he makes it clear, “God is love, and anyone who doesn’t love others has never known him.” By the way, that includes folks who don’t agree with you, and whom you may in your worst moments think aren’t so bright.
God loves them, and wants you to love them too. Otherwise, perhaps, John suggests, you have never really known God. Perhaps, your life has never really been filled with God’s love.
After all, really loving others means being willing to go to a cross for them!
I have been reading a book, ever so slowly entitled, Herding Tigers, by Todd Henry.
You probably have heard the saying that somethings are as difficult as “herding cats”. Well this book takes that idea and suggests that working with strong, motivated teams of very creative individuals is like herding cats on steroids.
Herding Tigers makes the case that wildly creatives teams can do amazing things because they have such amazing energy and ability, but that the conflict can go from level 1 to level 4 in a flash.
So, for managers who work with creative teams, they need special skills, in order to allow for the creativity, but also build in high levels of unity and support.
Just because someone sees the world differently than you doesn’t mean they are a bad person you need to abandon.
Instead, assume that they are in fact a great person with a different perspective you need to see, that you need to understand, so that not only can you love the person, but also so you can take into account their unique perspective!
But in the world of Covid and politics, so many people are so busy taking what should be level 1&2 conflicts, creative opportunities, and joyfully and even gleefully making them into level 3&4 conflicts.
They are encouraging folks to argue and fight, disagree to the point of leaving, tearing open what could be wonderful caring and creative communities not just outside the church, but even inside it.
All, flying in the face of what the author John tells us our Lord wants.
“My dear friends, we must love each other. Love comes from God, and when we love each other, it shows that we have been given new life. We are now God’s children, and we know him.”
You know what happens when we love God and each other and the people God has entrusted to our care?
Miracles!
Downstairs, the Thanksgiving Baskets line the halls. Love made real in our giving!
Downstairs, the Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes are stacked high. Love made real in our giving.
And right here, the pledge cards collected from God’s people are filled with a gesture of love, as people thought through and prayed through what they decided they could give this year! Love made real in our giving.
Because it is in what we give to others, our time, our energy, our openness, our thoughtfulness, that we revel God’s presence in us.
I was in an online seminar this past week about people’s first impressions of a church, and what we as God’s people can do to make new folks engagement with us, something that might move them to come and join with us.
And you know what was said? What it is that moves people from an initial look to engagement?
Our thoughtfulness.
That we obviously took the time to think about what it would be like to first encounter the crazy people at the Otisville Church, and what visitors would need online and in person to help them feel like they are loved, welcomed, wanted, and would forever be cared for here!
Because it is just like the culture has been telling us forever, people go where everyone knows your name, where they have friends, where no matter who you are you will be accepted.
Love one another.
Or as John says a bit later, “If we keep on loving others, we will stay one in our hearts with God, and he will stay one with us.”
May it be so, even in the days of Covid and politics. Amen.
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